Thank You Jan!

I have another mother in law. I don't know why I haven't talked much about her. She is the quiet strength of the other side of Daren's family.

She has strength, beauty, and a loving heart. I was going through the twins keep sake box tonight and found an email that she sent to me in October 2007. It flooded my eyes with tears. I have now placed it on the door in my room here at Melissa's. I want to share with you a part that she wrote. Her loving words warmed my heart as if she was standing here holding me. I love you Jan. I love Clay (Daren's Dad) and Julie too. (Daren's sister).

Here is a small preview in the days that preceeded this event...You can always count on us for an amazing story of God's faithfulness!!

The phone rang and it was Daren's co-worker and dear friend Lee. His first words were "Kristi, Daren is in the ambulance. He is fine, but he has had a head injury". I feel to the floor as horrid thoughts of terror captured my mind and everything became dark. My emotions drove me to sobs. He went on to to say that a metal post "digger" he was using fell on his head and he passed out and that there was a cut on his head and blood. Lee is an amazing friend of ours and his kind patience with me as I cried and screamed and literally fell apart. I was struck with a thought that I might lose the man that I love. How would I raise our babies alone ~ he is such a huge partner in parenting!!

Since my mom was with me, I called Daren's Dad Clay and step mom Jan. Concern struck both of them to the degree that it did me. See, Daren's brother Robbie died in a car accident some years ago. I know their fear was that they were about to walk down that same road again and that thought can paralyze you.

Jan's email in the days following reads as follows: (thank you Jan)

So it's time for a grandma Cole story. I don't know if you ever met her but if you did, it was towards the end so you didn't get the full effect, but she was one of the strongest women that ever lived. she was extremely honest, forthright, and spoke her mind about things. Nobody or nothing could bet the best of her. She plowed through life with practicality and great spirit. She endured the depression, loss of employment, nursing parents and relatives through final illnesses, loss of a spouse and still had a vital spirit. She was a career woman when it wasn't the thing to do, she never expected to marry and married late in life when it was fashionable and became first time mother at the tender age of 44. She worked hard her entire life -even mowing her own lawn at age 90 in spite of our fussing at her. I'm telling you this because you'll be a Grandma Cole too someday. And tough times like you've faced and are facing will become a part of the family legend. I've been quite sure that it's been your tenacious spirit that got the girls here safely (Jan is the ONLY one who has said that and I hold it in my heart forever~Thank you Jan). And we'll look forward to their first birthday, their first day of school, their first loose tooth and their first prom dress! Kory will become pretty protective of them as he gets older. (Although I'm sure he will complain plenty along the way) I plan to be there when all three graduate college and move out into the world on their own. And we'll talk about what sacrifices you and Daren made to ensure their safe arrival and their bumpy beginning. And be grateful that those days are behind us. Your children will draw strength from those stories for times when they are struggling. And your strength today will inspire their strength int he future. It really does work that way! So hand in there! We're behind you all the way. You're doing a great job handling all that life has thrown at you.don't ever hesitate to call-I may act like a flake on the phone but I'll be listening with my ears and my heart.

Jan

I can't believe that after two years, I found this in their box. There were several others in their from her that flowed with great love and encouragement. Jan, I promised you a few years back, that I wouldn't put our children through a divorce. I remember the email but I can't find it. I know you were concerned because a child that you knew was going through that in his life and you saw the pain he lived and didn't want your grandchildren to go through that. I am not giving up. I am fighting for The Cole family ~ there is a great legacy to leave behind, but that legacy contains stories of the five of us and the three of you and Gayle as well.

Jan, you speak of Grandma Cole's great strength. I agree she endured great suffering and resistance. You though, I believe in my heart you are the strongest in our family and your legacy will always be the one of endurance through pain, loss, and very hard times. You not only are an amazing mother, you are an amazing woman whose strength I will always draw from. Thank you Jan for who you are in my life. I love you all so much ~