Snakes!!! TWICE!!

Okay....now this one even left me feeling breathless, nauseated, sweating, and weak in the knees. If you know us, The Cole family, you'll almost shake your head in disbelief at this story, or you might just say, "That sounds right for you guys".

Yesterday, Daren and I were on the back deck at his mother's taking a break from what seems to be a never ending moving event. It was a beautiful day outside...temperature in the mid 70's.... light breeze....sunshine abundant. It was a perfect day. The kids had just gone down for a nap and we had a few hours of reprieve where we could actually unpack more than one box at a time without "assistance" from 30 other little fingers helping us.

Daren's mom was around the side of the deck that runs along the back of her house and around the pool. There is a stone walkway from the backyard around the side of the house to the driveway. She was working in her flowerbeds and all of a sudden we here her shout (which she never does) "DAREN!!" It wasn't a scream of terror or anything, but we could tell that she needed him right away. I looked at Daren and said jokingly "It's a snake." Sure enough, when he got around to where she was, there it was. About 4 feet from the side garage door, right by the air conditioning unit. She had a hoe in her hand, handed it to Daren and he held it down mid body. I, on the other hand, with my intense displeasure with snakes (and basically anything other than a butterfly, dragonfly, or ladybug) kept more than my distance and in my silence my mind ran back to the 5 to 7 times that morning that the kids, Gayle, Daren, or myself had walked that stone walkway. Here is a picture of the snake...(not THE snake...I didn't think that would be appropriate blog etiquette)

Now, Daren was holding down the snake with the hoe and Gayle went to look for the machete. She returned, and Daren got ready for what would seem to be a quick execution. It was not. The blade was dull and after about 5 whacks with the knife, it appeared to be lifeless. Daren assured me that it was, so I moved in for a closer view and to "make sure" the beast had no life left in him. (If you have a very sensitive stomach, you might want to skip to the next paragraph). As I approached the scene of the crime, I noticed his tail was still moving. I told Daren that to me, any movement left in that thing was proof enough for me that he was still alive. After minutes of trying to convince me that it wasn't, I pleaded my case (using the children's safety as my basis for argument) and insisted that the thing be cut in two before they were to be done. 6 whacks later, he was in two pieces and I was "happy"...well, as happy as a mother can be about the close proximity in which the snake was found. But, he was dead, and I felt much better about it.
THEN...later that day, after dinner, we were outside with the kids playing in the yard. They decided they wanted to go on a wagon ride....so we loaded all three up and took them on a ride towards the east side of her property where her garden is. The garden runs from her railroad tie fence to about 20 feet from the lake that resides behind the house. Kory wanted out to take a look at what she was growing. He then took Daren's hand and decided that he wanted to walk closer to the lake where a stone bench sat under the shade of the pecan trees. This bench is about 10 - 12 feet from the water. Kory sat down and Daren stood next to him. It was a kodak moment and as I pulled my phone out to take a picture, I asked Daren to turn around and look at me. When he did, his eyes grew large, and something came out of his mouth that lead me to believe that whatever it was, it wasn't good. My mothering instincts kicked in again, and I ran to rescue my child from whatever it was....the closer I got, I could see a very long, thick, black snake stretched out full length just a few feet from my precious boy. Daren grabbed him by the arm (I think I might have yelled "Get him out of there NOW!!" but, I'm not sure...I know I have been known to over react at times, but seriously...this was no joke).

I immediately ran with Kory and Ashley in my arms towards the house and yelled at Daren to pick Megan up (she was much closer to the house already so I figured she was safest and that daddy could rescue her). Daren and Gayle returned to the barn to get their weapons again and begin the hunt back to the bench to hunt for this thing. I stood inside from the back windows and watched as they headed down to the lake and bench. I turned cartoons on for the kids and then proceeded to go back outside and stand on the second level of the deck so that I could "supervise" what they were doing and offer guidance. (Mind you, I'm not a girl who has lived in the country...far from it...so, what do I know about snakes? Nothing really other than I hate them immensely....sorry PETA people....I mean no disrespect, but that's just the way it is). When they returned to the location of it's sighting, it was gone. Daren said that it was a good 6 foot long and thought that they could find it in the grass, so they started sifting through the taller grass that is on the edge of the lake. I had him take my phone so that he could take a picture. I knew that one snake story would be hard to believe so I wanted a picture of this one to help tell this story.

My phone is set to vibrate twice and then it starts to play a song. Well, Daren had put my phone in the lower pocket of his cargo shorts so that he could use the hoe and some sort of grabber thing that you see in commercials for older adults who have trouble reaching high objects, and the machete. Daren slowly trodded the area but never looked back. So, in all my snake hunting wisdom, I told him to look back every now and then so that it would sneak up on him. As he turned around, my phone began to vibrate in his pocket near his knee and he claimed that it sounded like a hiss. Well, let me just say, I've never seen a man jump as high as he did nor scream like he did. His mom was yelling, "It's the phone" and then, well, MY phone ended up being sailed across the yard with a few descriptive words to follow. It was hilarious. I mean truly funny. (Daren is never one to be a reactor, so this was way out of character for him) He was spared this event with just three small scratches on his leg from the bench as he jumped and his ankle ran up the side of it. I told him he was lucky to not have dropped the machete on it...well, he said he'd rather tell that story than the jumping because of fear story. I see NO shame in having fear of snakes, but he seems to think otherwise.

So, for the long of it....the second of our two snakes still remains MIA. I have reset boundaries as to how far out from the house the kids can go, and have told Daren to take whatever means necessary to find the beast and take care of it. This is the picture that Daren found that most closely resembles this snake:

I guess with all the rain they have had in Oklahoma over the past month and the rise in the lake level, it has pushed these ugly beings from their original homes...Goody for me!! Melissa told me last night that they had to run a 4 year old up to Children's two shifts ago (she is a paramedic here in Norman) due to a snake bit. Again....GOODY FOR ME!! So, as I put the babies down last night and Kory as well...I prayed for protection over them in this specific area. Seriously... I don't know what else to do....I am sure we will all emerge from this even unscathed and with all our appendages...but nonetheless...I don't like snakes.