Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Another day gone, finally through.
I passed his pictures in the hall,
Traced his face & tried to stand tall.
I'm doing my best to trust in You,
that the pain will lessen in time.
But I still have those sweet images,
Burning through this heart of mine.
So full of life, from his very first breath.
Ten precious fingers, ten tiny toes, yet to take a step.
His mommy & daddy, their hearts ache every day
Why, oh God, did you allow this their way?
I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes,
The ache in my heart that's so deep inside.
I've been in Your word, & down on my knees
But the silence is so loud, say something please!!!
I'd take the pain that these sweet parents bear,
And carry it as my own and to no one would share.
I'm running out of words God, isn't it Your turn to speak?
This valley is so large and I'm feeling so weak.
I've done my best, Lord, to trust You in this
I've given you my heart and lessened my grip
I've invited You in to heal this deep pain,
How long oh Lord, do we stand in the rain?
But as I have promised, and said to you before,
I'll take on their pain, if for one day more,
You'd give my dear brother and his truly precious wife,
One more day, one more moment, with this oh so precious life.
I'm asking! I'm pleading! I'm begging You God!
I can feel the emptiness grow & begin to sob!
They need so much to feel the touch of Your hand,
So strong and so peaceful so they can understand.
And if You can't tell them just one reason why,
Can You give them Your peace and comfort their cries?
I've taken a moment & looked at my past...
You've always given enough grace and mercy to last
Through every trial and every heart break,
You've walked me through, and have never forsake.
But I know in the valley, we can forget how You feel.
The power of Your goodness & might that's so real.
So, I'm asking You God, Give them a speck of light to see,
Until we are all together again, as one in Calvary.
I know this isn't the end, there will be more words to say....
But I hurt too deep inside, and must wait for another day.
Help me to sleep and into Your peace may I fall...
Shut down my tears & break down my walls.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Things in my life quickly came back into perspective as my love for this family overflowing in my heart, brought me to my knees in prayer. I have never met nor talked to MckMama, but I've read about Stellan's journey with SVT and this precious family.
Stellan has become ill again and is, according to her blog, being air lifted to Boston for more intense treatment and observation. Please, please pray for this family. Pray for Jennifer's strength and for her to feel the overwhelming peace that so many are interceding for her and her family. May she feel a warm blanket of love and peace tightly wrapped around her and Stellan as she holds him close to her heart.
I believe we serve a God who is capable of anything. Miracles happen every day, though seldom heard of. I believe God will intervene here. I believe that HIS will will be carried out and through this journey, His name, power, and grace will be introduced, reinforced, and renewed to many.
I had set today aside to catch up on so many emails that I have neglected to respond to, but I'd rather spend the day praying for this precious little one and ask those of you who can, join me. May the glory and power and provision of our Great and Mighty God be showered over this precious one and may the surgeons, physicians, nurses, and techs be keenly aware and anointed as they care for this little one. Guide their hands and open their minds, Father, and impart in each caregiver a compassion and love for this entire family.
We Praise You Almighty God!
In Your Grip We Rest ~
(MckMama's Blog Link is located below.....stop today and leave them a note of encouragment and support...in a valley, you can never hear it too much.....)
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I am so truly sorry I didn't call you last night to wish you a "happy day" (as Kory calls it). I know it's probably hard to "celebrate". You've hard the most difficult and at times seemingly impossible year. I still hold hope though and pray for peace in your heart. I still don't feel peace, so I think that the prayer is one for myself as well.
You deserve nothing less than a wonderful birthday. You are a magnificent husband, and loving daddy, and to me, your the best brother a little sister could ask for. You are on my heart every day (as is Darcy)!! I love you so much more than you'll ever know. I miss you deeply & can't wait until your time in Salt Lake City is over and you are closer to "home". :0)
So, I'm working on a special slide show of pictures of you and I throughout the years and I think it will make you laugh. :0) Hope to get it up on here by the end of the week..
Again, much love and hugs to you and know that we celebrated your birthday by thanking God for you and asking that He restore your joy.
I love you!! I'm always here!!!
Friday, July 10, 2009
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
8 You will only observe with your eyes
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
10 then no harm will befall you,
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
16 With long life will I satisfy him
There is a special spot below a huge oak tree where this stone is positioned in the back yard. This is where I can go, when it all gets to be too much in my mind, and remember that God and God alone is in control ~ And in Heaven with Him, all are safe and whole.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
#3 talks about what a happy person is like. I'm not sure that I am a big fan of the word "happy" to categorize an emotion. I like the word joy...so I'm going to use that instead. I think that it is easier to recognize a happy person. These people are usually individuals that are swayed by life events. Happy people who enter difficult seasons, usually tend to lose sight of God and struggle to remain grounded in Him and His word. When you are filled with joy, a fruit of the Spirit, it's an emotion that people or circumstances can't take from you. It's a choice we make every day to walk in joy even when everything around us is pulling us in an opposite direction.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Papa John and Nana came out to Grandma Gayle's so that they could watch Kory share with them how his fishing skills have grown over the past few months. It was somewhat of a circus as the five of us and the two of them hovered around the dock as rods were flying and hooks went zipping by at record speed. My fear was that someone was going to end up with a hook implanted and that drama would end our adventure after a short time.
The girls enjoyed being out there. They were given "snoopy" fishing poles as well. Ashley would do exactly what Kory did (we cut her hook off since she doesn't just yet grasp the concept of a hook). She adores Kory and follows his every move. She is also partial to her Papa and stood by his side most of the time.
Megan enjoyed herself as well. She is fascinated by any animal...and to her a "worm" is not only an animal but "snack". She enjoys playing with them and holding them tightly in her precious little hands. Keeping them away from her lips for "kisses" is a little bit of a challenge. She also liked the bread that we first threw out into the water to "call the fish and turtles" up to the surface. She'd never eat bread while sitting in her high chair like she does when we are down at the dock. She protects that stuff with such passion and stuffs it in as fast as she can...seriously!
We spent a good amount of time down on the dock....and it was one of the nicest moments of time we've had in a long time. It was hot, sticky, and lots of action... but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. Kory and I love to lay on our tummies and fish from that vantage point.
Then.....it happened. Daren and Papa were teaching Kory how to cast and reel with a bait casting reel ("grown up" rod and reel). He caught on really fast. They had tied on a crank bait. As he reeled it in for the first time, he thought he had a fish on. (they tend to have resistance when reeling them in compared to "worm" fishing). Well, on his third cast...he truly had a fish on. (Nana and I had come up to the house with the girls, so this part of the story is coming from Papa's excitement) The fish jumped and dove back into the water, but Kory held tight and kept reeling it in. Daren and Papa realized that this wasn't any small fish by any means. It was a large mouth bass...not just a tiny bass...but one that weighed over 5 pounds. Papa came running up to the house asking for the camera and when I figured out why....I ran out of the house as if it was on fire and was on the dock within seconds.
There it was. The one that didn't get away! I can't really describe how special of a moment this was for me. I've always had a passion for fishing. Daren and I fished tournaments here in Oklahoma back in the day (about 15 years ago), then I was given the opportunity to fish on the FLW Tour as a co-angler for two seasons. (that's another full story for another post). I think some mom's (except for Ms. Debe) would not understand how much this moment meant to me as a mother. I mean, it's just a fish to some, but to me, it was my son finding passion for a sport in which brought great joy to his mommy's life for some time. I am so very, very, proud of Kory. He reeled this beast of a fish all the way to the dock, when the fish took a final dive under the dock, Daddy helped him out so that it wouldn't jump off. This fish, it's 3/4 as long as Kory is tall. It's mouth, huge. Kory didn't understand all the hooting and hollering and praise he was receiving at the time. He just knew he had done a great thing. As Daren held the fish for Kory to see...he pointed out the teeth, touched his fins, but he had never seen in person such a large fish, so he was a little taken back by getting too close to it.
This moment could not have been any more perfect than it was. It was a moment that I have great joy in the fact that my dad was here to see this. It was a moment I'll never forget. This fish is dedicated not only to my Dad (who was here ~ Papa), brother & my nephew Major, but also to my Grandpa Strombom and my Uncle Brian who also have a passion for fishing. (Congrats to my Uncle Brian for winning a tournament out in California recently!! I've meant to write you for some time....and will do as soon as I can...I was so thrilled to hear the news.
Well, here are the pictures. I hope you enjoy them as much as we enjoyed the moment.
So, this isn't just a fish tale...it's a moment in time to be remembered for always. Thank you Papa and Nana for coming out to see us and share in this moment with us. It was so much more special with you here. We love you!
(Ignore the "ouch" on my nose. I fell earlier in the week and my nose broke the fall on the edging of the pool. Didn't break my nose, though it looks like it. Just scraped the skin off and fractured the bone around the eye and a hairline fracture of my skull. Nice Huh?)
So, the night came to an end. Nana helped me put the girls down to bed and treated them to a bedtime story which thrilled them to no end. Kory got invited to spend the night at Nana and Papa's and couldn't get out the door soon enough. As they buckled him in and shut the door. Kory waved back at us and said "Bye kids! See ya!" Too cute!
This night was special. It's not a first step, first word, or first grade. It's the birth of a passion that I pray will grow over the years and give Kory something to love to do.You did such an amazing job buddy for only being three!!! Meggie, your love for food and your love for animals might become a problem. :0) No matter what, you are sweet and lovable...my little squishy. I thank God daily for your health and that He protected and healed you as a tiny baby...to think that we could have lost you...that you weren't supposed to be able to walk or talk...Your joy is God's gift! Ashley, your independence amazes me every day. You are brave and certain of who you are (and what you want). I pray you will always have the confidence to go for what you want in life & the conviction in your heart to follow Jesus. I am so blessed to be the mommy of these three precious lives. Some days I feel crazy.... Some days are so hectic that I find myself running in circles never accomplishing anything...Some days I long for naps and bedtime...but not today. Today is a good day. Today we shared a moment together as a family and I treasure that. Thank You God for Your goodness. Protect these little lives God, please. In Your Son's name...
In His Amazing Grip!