Forgiveness Required

Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary: Definition of Forgiveness and Forgive:

Forgiveness: Noun; 1)the act of forgiving; state of being forgiven. 2) Disposition or willingness to forgive.

Forgive: verb; 1) to grant pardon for or remission of an offense, debt, etc...absolve 2) to give up all claim of an account 3) to cease to feel resentment against 4) to renounce anger or resentment against.

Over the past few days, forgiveness, or the act there of, has passed in front of my eyes a number of times. One of my daily devotional books spoke about the gracious forgiveness that God bestows upon those who repent and turn from their sins. I began reading "The Reagan Diaries" and in the forward of this book, the editor Douglas Brinkley, recalls different entries into President Reagan's diaries. One in particular paragraph hit my heart and brought to light just how humble of a man he was and how certain it was that the Lord was at the center of his life. Brinkley writes:

"Like his marriage to Nancy, his strong relationship with God was of paramount importance in Reagan's life. Consistently, he thanks God for allowing him to be physically fit and for sparing his life from Hinckley's bullet spray, after which he recalls lying on a bed in the emergency room: 'I focused on that tiled ceiling and prayed. But I realized I couldn't ask for God's help while at the same time I felt hatred for the mixed-up young man who had shot me. Isn't that the meaning of the lost sheep? We are all God's children & therefore equally beloved by him. I began to pray for his soul and that he would find his way back to the fold.'

Then, last night I was talking with my friend Marilyn who is currently reading Stormie Omartian's book: The Power of Praying Through the Bible. She proceeded to share with me about the study for that day. It was on forgiveness. She went on to share what touched her heart about this chapter. Now, I can't recall word for word what she said, but I can recall the point that she was making about forgiveness. She said that forgiveness was not condoning or accepting hatred or mean behavior as "right behavior"by the actions of a person (or group of people) that hurt you, but that it was a choice in your heart to forgive the character in that person that produced the pain or hurt in your life. She went on to say that the seed of choosing not to forgive, if left unattended to, can grow deep roots in your life and affect not only relationships with other people but our relationship with God.

As I left her house (just across the street) I felt a movement in my heart to revisit areas that I was holding on to and relationships within the family that continually cause pain and riddicule. These people, who are called to be family, have crushed a part of my heart that I don't know how to forgive. The words they said about my family when my little nephew passed away, goes beyond tacky, immature, hateful, and shallow. I have struggled for years with these people prior to this incident. But, this was the final straw....I could take no more of the painful words. Over the years I have apologized to "keep the peace" during family gatherings. I have turned my head when they would gossip or say things. Last summer I did everything I could do to reconcile these relationships, but they were unreasonable. As I drove home from Major's funeral last November, with gut wrenching pain in my heart, the silence became more than I could handle. I didn't want to talk to anyone because that just made it worse. So, I tossed a CD into the slot and began to listen to a Beth Moore book about getting out of life's pits. She said something to the effect that if there is a relationship that is keeping you down in the pit that satan wants to keep you in (we are ineffective if we are held down and not walking in True Light), forgive them and end the relationship. These relationships held me captive for a long time and were a great source of tension between Daren and I in the previous 17 years. Since I have come to terms with ending the relationships and have been working through maintaining the mindset of forgiveness, I feel a release that is full of peace.

I think I misunderstood what forgiveness is in the eyes of God. I think that at times I thought forgiveness was taking upon the mindset that the pain someone caused was pardoned or excused behavior. This is not what God is asking of us. He is the judge, he will keep those who choose to hurt others accountable to Him on the day of judgment. Just as He forgives each of us for our sins, we still will have to give an account for that which is unconfessed when we get to heaven. During this time of learning and studying the forgiveness God has given to me, I realized that I was the one who was keeping myself in captivity by not accepting His gift of forgiveness in my own life. I felt that His forgiveness was for everyone but me. I had repented, but never walked fully in peace knowing that he remembers no more.

We serve a merciful God that forgives His children. Psalm 103:11-12 talks about God's forgiveness and the removal of our transgressions. "For as high as the heavens are from the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he moved our transgressions from us." He has taken those sins and removed them, now it's up to us to forgive ourselves or we run a high risk of getting stuck in a pit of growing condemnation that eventually leads to fear and shame. If, again, we don't forgive bitter roots will begin to flourish and take over our minds. Roots so deep and intertwined that they can place a strangle on our hearts and relationship with God. It can block us from having full fellowship with Him.

I think, at times, it can take awhile for our heart (your feelings) to line up with what our head knows. (This again, is one of my greatest struggles). When I am unable to move on from a "wrong" that has been done to me, I've learned that it will become far worse over time than the original act. When you ponder upon the negative, day and night for days, months, or even years as I have experienced...it takes a lot longer to dig those roots up than it would have been if I would have originally chosen to offer this pain, this hurt, to God so that He could remove it from the secret places in my heart that I have held on to for some unknown reason.

If we harbor "injustices" inflicted upon us, we will become imprisoned by someone else's sin! We will be allowing someone elses actions to block a portion of our fellowship and worship with God.We will be so limited in our worship, in our prayer, and in our effectiveness for the Kingdom of God. . Matthew 6:14-15 states in clear understandable words; "For if you forgive men, when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men of their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." In John MacArthur Study Bible (NKJ) he explains in the study notes regarding this scripture, the following to clarify any misunderstanding of God's word "Forgiveness in this latter sense is what God threatens to withhold from Christians who refuse to forgive others." I can only speak for myself here, but there is no way I want to be denied the forgiveness of God for any sin I've committed in the past or any sin I may commit in the future. Forgiving others would seem completely unobtainable if it wasn't for the love of God. The very One who has chosen to forgive us through our repentance. We can hold tight to His loving power that will remove us from these terrible events that have captured us in bondage. With His strength, we can do anything (See Philippians 4:13....though the previous verses in this chapter are well worth reading as well.) I fully believe in my heart that, putting a stop to a relationship that is damaging is okay and backed by scripture IF YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO FORGIVE THEM!

So, as I end this blog, my heart is convicted, my spirit is challenged, and my path is illuminated by the word of God. This blog is more for myself than for anyone else. But, if it touches your heart then PRAISE GOD!! Writing for me has always been a way to process my thoughts and feelings when life gets crazy or my heart is burdened. Writing songs, poems, and "musing's" like this, have allowed me to enter into the presence of the One who has forgiven me by grace, promised eternal life, and walks daily by my side, carrying me at times when I am too weary to walk. God helps me process my pain or uncertainty through these avenues and I am thankful to Him for that...as well as the times that I praise and honor His Majesty.

This is also for my three children. I want them to be able to look back when I am gone and hopefully capture a glimpse of my heart and my faith. One that isn't perfect, one that has been captive to the enemy, and walked in the wilderness. I want them to also see my journey back from the wilderness to the loving arms of God and rebuilding my relationship with Him. My prayer for them is that they will not encounter a season of walking outside the will of God. It's so much easier, so much more fulfilling to walk daily with Him. I pray a hedge of protection for them every day...for today and for tomorrow and for all that is ahead for them.

Last, but not least, I want to address the amazing book of Ronald Reagan's presidency, told in his own words through his journal of daily events. The Reagan Diaries are full of many reflections of this great presidents faith in God and his love for this country. His passion and true heart are displayed in every entry to his journals over the 8 years in which our country was blessed to have him as Commander in Chief. There were some entries on various Sunday's where he and Mrs. Reagan would slip out of the White House to attend church, each time he would say 'it felt so good to be there'. I am intrigued by this man and his wife, the love that they shared so deeply for each other, and the kindness that went above and beyond to touch lives of those who hurt, or have disabilities, or had a different point of view. He became a friend to so many. I am anxious to dive deeper into his diary to learn more about his solid faith in Jesus Christ and how, when under adversity, he stood for the convictions in his heart and for the God who saved him. And in the theme of this post, how he forgave a man that attempted to take his life.

And thank you Marilyn for sharing your heart last night and for talking with me. You really touched my heart. Much love to you!!

Well, if you aren't asleep as of now, you are a trooper. I do not claim to be a perfectionist on forgiveness or on the word of God. These are just my thoughts and what truth I have found in His Word. I know there are areas that I still have to work on....and I will continue to offer these people and these situations up to God...for without Him, I can do nothing!!

Here are a few more scriptures that guide us to forgive:

Colossians 3:12-14 (but the entire 3rd Chapter is worth reading)

1 John 1:5-9 (confessing our sin)

Luke 17:3-4 (continually walk in forgiveness)

Matthew 18:21-35 (instruction about forgiveness)

Mark 11:25-26 (necessity of forgiveness)

Matthew 6:14-15 (God's forgiveness depends on our forgiveness of others)

Psalm 103:1-5 (focus of forgiveness in vs. 3)

So, I am far from where I need to be, but tonight before I fall asleep, I will fall on my knees. I will ask God for his help to forgive the hurtful words that caused pain that remains in my heart and I will pray for those individuals to come to know God. It's no longer about "who started it?" but it's about "who can end it?". My dad has always taught me in times of conflict to do all that I can to rise above the situation and not get stuck in it or contribute to the drama...to turn the other cheek. At times I would think "is he crazy? turn my cheek when someone deliberately has set out to hurt me...doesn't God want me to defend myself???" And the reply to that is, God is my defender. He will make right that in which others make wrong. My dad has a lot of wisdom and I admire his relationship with God. I've kept so many of his letters to me that inspire my spiritual walk with the Lord. I love you Daddy!
Goodnight my friends....

In His Grip!