"Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God"

Psalm 91: 1~16

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare

and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart

5 You will not fear the terror of night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes

and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—

even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,

no disaster will come near your tent

11 For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,

so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;

you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;

I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him

and show him my salvation."

This Scripture has come across my eyes a number of times in the past few days. I am not certain why ~ although the Lord has been really pressing into my heart the importance of dwelling in Him. I've been learning that it is only IN Him will I ever find peace and comfort and in the JOY of THE LORD is my strength! (See Nehemiah 8:10)

Joy...joy...why does it have to be joy? Nothing around me is shouting "Joy! Joy! Look at all there is to be joyful about!!" Trust me, no one is. That is, no one but God. I still wrestle with God over how in the world I am ever supposed to have total joy ever again when something, someone, so precious to me, to our family, was taken so tragically from us. But, that's just it "how IN the world??"...I have to somehow figure a way to look beyond today, beyond life on this earth, to eternal life in Heaven. I'll never understand this side of Heaven all the questions and reasons for this event that has broken the heart of so many. But, I'd rather live every day in anticipation of going Home to Heaven, where he is, knowing that this is not the end, that we'll be together again some day. I can't walk every day without the hope that this isn't the end. If I lost my hope now, I would be saying that the God that I cried out to when I miscarried our two babies, wasn't good enough for this loss we are now suffering. Though my children weren't born, I hurt just the same. I never got to hold them, but I know Jesus is. I thank God that I can close my eyes and see Major, my babies, other babies in our family, and loved ones gone before. I can see the children running and playing. I see my Grandma and Grandpa Bulger holding them all and kissing them as only Grandpa Bulger could..you know, those sloppy wet kisses!

I have to remind myself to go to those visions every day or I can get lost in the visions of our loss. The thoughts of what isn't nor will ever be.

One thing that gives me great, great joy is knowing with every ounce of who I am that these precious children will never know the pain of a broken heart. They will never experience disappointment or confusion. They won't be exposed to the evil of this world. They will always have a bounce in their step and a joy in their hearts that know not any other. The loved ones who had gone before them who lived their last years in physical pain or heartbreak of loss are reunited and whole.

So, I will do my best to dwell with Him. To live life in His presence and hold on to the truth of His word. His inerrant, infallible word. I need not another thing.

There is a special spot below a huge oak tree where this stone is positioned in the back yard. This is where I can go, when it all gets to be too much in my mind, and remember that God and God alone is in control ~ And in Heaven with Him, all are safe and whole.

In His Grip!