The Whole Armor of God....

Recently, the Scripture that I am about to share from Ephesians 6, has been my anthem of protection from the world and its ways. I've been made so aware of the Spiritual warfare that is going on. It's almost palpable as Daren and I travel down this dark path. (please note: I'm not directing this at Daren nor am I making ANY implications that he has anything to do with what I am writing about)

This journey over the past 11 months since he lost his job due to the economy has opened the door for satan to come in and try to destroy that in which God created, reunited, and transformed. Looking back, I am disappointed in myself for my lack of putting on the whole armor of God during this battle which resulted in small areas for the devil to come in and start his path of destruction. Slowly pulling me away from the truth of God's word and eating away at my faith and hope.

Today, I declare, in the Name of Jesus, that I will daily place this armor on. That I will fight the good fight and will walk in the faith and grace that God has so mercifully given me to obtain. I know I must have grieved His heart as He watched me allow the dark thoughts to creep into my mind and heart and influence my direction and attitude.

Paul, in Ephesians 6:10-20, writes this:

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.
12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,
20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

So I ask for your prayers that I may walk in the armor of God and that a hedge of protection be placed around the hearts and minds of Daren and our children. That any and all outside evil be rebuked so that God's perfect will shall be carried out and seen to its fullness and goodness.

In His Grip~

Sit With You Awhile ~

Ah! When do the tough days end? Lord, I long to feel Your arms around me ~ protecting me, giving me peace, keeping me warm in a world that has grown so cold. God, give my little one's a hug from me right now...touch their hearts and minds with a revelation knowledge that I love them so much!!

Forever, In The Grip of Your Grace~

"I Will Rise" ~ Chris Tomlin

"I Will Rise"

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[x2]

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

My Awesome Creative Mom!

Friday ~ Friday my mom came down from OKC to spend the day with me and to bring the new bedding, curtains, and decorations she made for the girls room. It is truly beautiful!!


There room had been pink and green since they were born...but their little wild personalities just didn't fit the girly girl decor that had been theirs for the last 2 1/2 years....(can't believe it's been that long....)


So, I thought I would share a few of the pictures from Nana's creations!!! I hope you enjoy!!

Mom, thank you so much for all the hard work and effort you put into doing this. I could never have done it without you!! I truly truly appreciate this amazing gift!! I can't wait for my monkey's to get home and see their new jungle!!! I love you!!!

That's What Faith Can Do

Music. Music is more than instruments and voices filling up an empty room.

Music is lyrics...words from the heart and soul...songs of lament or songs of praise.

Music can bring healing to a hurting aching heart.

Music can give you words to praise how faithful God is when you reach the peak of a mountain that you've traveled on for such a long time.

Music can give you stamina to keep placing one foot in front of the other when you want to crumble and give up.

But, with that said, It's music that is based on the inerrant infallible Word of God that will keep you "keeping on".Based on Truth. I love music. I love all kinds of music...but I find that the music which I stay grounded in, my "Christian" music, is what fills my heart, mind, and spirit with that which is true about this life. The music that God gives so many amazing artist who soulfully and spiritually seek God out for their music to touch lives....those are the ones I love. Matthew West, Matt Redman, Kutless, Rush of Fools, Third Day....the list goes on...

This morning, I realized just how thankful I am for this life. God revealed something very personal and passionate to me this week about the Body of Christ and their love. How being involved in and fellowship with other believers is so vitally important in our walk with Him. Accountability, support, unconditional love, trust, faithfulness, integrity, loyalty in good times and in bad. They aren't perfect Christians...none of them claim to be. They each have their own story of their journey in Christ. But I love each and every one of them. I've never felt such an embrace from the Body of Christ as I did this week. And most important...they have a true unending passion for serving God in this community and around the world. Their love is endless and they are priceless!! True treasures and blessings!

I've had an exceptionally difficult two weeks just in my own heart...and there is a song that came on Thursday morning that I have now played over and over and over again. It reminds you of what faith in God can do. How when you place your faith in Him, the possibilities are endless.

He is the one true God and I dare not walk another step in this life that doesn't focus on Him and His faith. I am humbled that He stands by me...that He cares so much to bring people and music into my life that truly change my direction...carry me...and are so humble in all things.

To my Life Group at Antioch Church here in Norman...and to Chris and Julie Bennett (our pastor & his wife)...I want to thank you. I can't find the exact words to pen the emotion and love that you have helped me find again in Him!!! Thank you!!

So, with that being said...here is a song by Kutless ~ That's What Faith Can Do...


Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

In His Grip!

Save A Place For Me ~ Matthew West

Save A Place For Me

Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes
'Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again
You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you

Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon

I have asked the question why
But I guess the answer's for another time
So instead I'll pray with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here
And I wanna live my life just like you did
Make the most of my time just like you did
And I wanna make my home up in the sky
Just like you did
Oh, but until I get there
Until I get there

Fingerprints

"Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch"

Abounding In Love

"The love of God, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. This love NEVER fails" 1 Corinthians 13:7-8

Why is love so important? Because love is the only spiritual muscle that motivates us to do the right things, in the right way, for the right reasons, and at the right times. God's love "is the fulfillment of the law" (Romans 13:10 NIV) - it is the accomplisher of the righteousness and holiness. Faith, in fact, works by love. It is the mark of the Christian life that is to set us apart from those in the world~as the song says, "They shall know we are Christians by our love." It is the sign of spiritual exuberance as opposed to inner deficiencies or a life crippled by deep personal hurts. It is also the VINE from which all the other fruit grow ~ "joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23)......

Love is the ONLY thing that moves us outside of ourselves to join with others or to help others. The need for this love is the magnetism that God uses to attract us-without it we feel the "God-sized hole" within us."

~excerpt from "Discover the Power in the Prayers of Paul" by David Borden

Abounding Love ~ overflowing without end ~ selfless in all things ~ works towards the good of others to build and add not to detract or tear down. We all could love more....love without conditions and selfish ambitions.... to love as God loves us.... to live as God lives in us.... to learn as God leads us....

In His Grip,

Please pray for My Little One

Please pray for my littlest girl. She is in great struggle to breathe due to an upper resperitory infection and her asthma.

As a mommy, there is no pain greater than watching your baby struggle and wanting so much to help her.... Hold her and breathe for her to give her rest.

The twins journey from what seems the moment their lives began in the pregnancy and the months and years since have been so difficult. But, I am their mommy and I was there for every moment of their lives and I will fight til my own last breathe to provide love, nurture, and protection.

Please pray for all three kiddos. They're all sick and it's breaking my heart..,

During the weeks and months to come...please pray that the hearts of the children will be protected.

I've been blessed beyond words to have the love and support of some dear friends.... Thank you for standing by me.

Pieces of Joy & Sadness

Joy and sadness.

How can one heart feel so full of both? I don't know, but that is where I find myself. Broken pieces of what "was" glued together to embrace what "is".

JOY!!! My sweet babies come home tomorrow! I can not wait to see them...to tackle them with love and laughter and to fill this house back up with the sounds of their precious voices!!!

SADNESS!!! It is so difficult on the days they aren't here. It's not "life", it's just survival...filling time up with stuff so that the pain of their absence is lessened. So the quiet ~ well, it's just not "quiet".

These past four days have been more difficult. More things in life going on and not really in the direction that I want them to. I'm learning more and more about people and this life around me. Who I can trust and who I can't....and those still in question. I've realized that some people don't take you at your word and honor your feelings...and that hurts. I feel like slowly I'm putting bricks up that are forming a wall around my heart. To me, right now, that's fine. My heart is full and 100% for my babies. I just don't want to become jaded or hardened towards others during this season of life.

When friends betray you, use you for their gain, I feel the hurt in my heart. My life is not a soap-opera...it's not for people to poke fun at and take lightly. I'm at a terribly hurtful place in life right now. A place I didn't ask to be at, but again, find myself standing in wonder at what is taking place. I hate it. I hate it so much!!

I hate the hurt ~ I hate the loneliness ~ I hate the choice that's been made for me to be where I am at.

I have to find a way to embrace this new life. I have to stop the worry about what tomorrow might bring. I have to take the pieces of joy and sadness and hand them over to God so that something truly beautiful comes out of this and trust Him fully that He is in control.

In His Grip~

"Shattered Dreams" ~ Larry Crabb

"A Hell of Mercy" ~ Chapter 13

"God's restraint has a purpose. When He appears to be doing nothing, He is doing something we've not yet learned to value and therefore cannot see. Only in the agony of what we seem to see as the absence of His presence, will we relax our determined grip of our empty selves enough to appreciate His purposes.

He could do something.Yet He does nothing, at least not what we ask Him to do. Why? To deepen our desire for HIS Presence, to strengthen our passion to PURSUE HIM, to help us see how preoccupied we are with filling our God-shaped souls with something less than God.

Only when we want Him as we want nothing else will there develop in our hearts a space large enough for Him to fill. Because He longs to fill us, He hides His face long enough for us to discover how fervently and exclusively we want Him. When our discovery creates a secret space that nothing else can fill, and when we KNOW that to be TRUE, He enters.

Through pain of shattered dreams, God is awakening us to the possibility of infinite pleasure. That is the nature of our journey; it's what the Spirit is doing. When we understand THAT, we'll define "doing well" on this journey very differently than before......"

In His Perfect Peace

Isaiah 26:3
“You will keep him in PERFECT peace

whose mind is STAYED on YOU,

because he trusts YOU”

Perfect peace. A place I strive to arrive at. Perfect peace, peace that the wicked can not steal nor will ever know without a true and full knowledge of who God is and what His Scriptures teach about walking a life with Him. I've learned to live in the day where I am not moved by situations, circumstances, and people around me. I long for the day where the negative of this world is one thing that I can pray about and one thing less that influences my attitude or spirit.

In the valley, it can be so overwhelming to keep that perfect peace. Today, all I could do is look towards Heaven and pray, continually, and He instilled within me His perfect peace. When my mind would float back to all the “if’s, and’s, or but’s” I would immediately feel my spirit within me grow weary and peace drift away. But, when staying in HIS presence, peace can't be stolen.

This journey in the valley right now is going to be shortened. I’m going to make a detour to the top by keeping my focus on Him. Following His lead and moving to the beat of His heart and not my own.

Sure, many will question me and accuse me. I would love to follow that statement with “I really don’t care”, but that is a lie. I do care. For out of my mouth comes truth. I haven’t always lived this way, but for a while now, I have, and trust me, it’s a much better way of life. Since 2004, I can honestly say that I have tried my best to seek the Lord. I have changed many of my ways. Sure, the devil in his scheming has tried relentlessly to sidetrack me with various situations. I may have stumbled on some of them, but I did not fall out of the grip of my Saviors Grace! He forever held me in those times tightly to His chest as any parent would do for a child in pain ~ physically or emotionally.

I am far from perfect. I’m not perfect in anything. But my desire is to grow more and more into His likeness daily. With my words, actions, and deeds.

Today, God opened a door and I will never ever forget it. I have found a home for the kids and I to live in so we can be a family. The application has been submitted and I am waiting on approval from the owners. The property management office should call tomorrow (Friday) afternoon to let me know. Your prayers for approval and favor would be MUCH appreciated!!!

Is it a palace? No. Is it in a bad area? No. It’s perfect. It’s just what I need to provide for my kids. The girls have their own room, Kory has his room, and Mommy has her room.

So, with heaviness in my heart, but peace in my mind, I will know that I did all I can during this 10 month adventure since Daren lost his job due to the economy.

I am going to take some courses from the local vo-tech to get my medical coding certificate, which prayerfully, will allow me to work from home down the road. In the mean time, I will find a job to provide the needs of my family!

I can’t sit and wait, nor do I believe in my heart, mind, or body, that God wants me to sit and wait for Him to drop something in my lap. There are times in life that I believe He does that, but He does that to those that exercise their will to follow Him and live according to His word.

I pray that my children will not be torn over any of this. I pray that they will see their home with me and their home at Grandma Gayle’s with Daddy as safe loving homes that desire the best for them. I can’t wait to get in there and decorate and put our home together and make it OVERFLOWING with God’s love, PEACE, & joy!!! It’s been so long.

There are many people that have (& continue to) prayed for me & help me get to where I am today….and to merely say thank you seems too simple. My deepest gratitude to each and every one of you who have shown support through prayer, words of uplifting encouragement, and financial support. I would not be here today had you not followed the promptings of the Holy Spirit to take time to call, write, pray, email….the list goes on and on.

I pray abundant, OVERFLOWING, blessings out of the hands of God to you and your families. May a hedge of protection be over you in all things in all ways. I love you; yes love you, each and every one!! Your part in our story will be known to each of the children by letters I have tucked away for them to read in the future. I want them to see mommy’s heart during this should anything happen where the Lord calls me home before they are old enough to understand themselves. They mean the world to me.

Dear Lord, I love you and lift Your Name in praise…for in You, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My gaze will forever be upon the cross and may I kneel there and seek you daily. I am so undeserving of Your endless love…but accept it and value it as a pirate finds lost treasure! Thank You for being there for me after all these years and for loving me. I can’t wait to get deep in Your word and study more of who You are so that one day, I can share with others on a higher platform of Your love and grace!! You are awesome!!!

Your Daughter!
Kristi

Someday

You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry

And maybe someday we’ll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud
We’ll be better off somehow, someday

Now we wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it’s good to be someone

And maybe someday we’ll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud
We’ll be better off somehow, someday

I don’t wanna wait
I just wanna know
I just wanna hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

‘Cuz maybe someday we’ll figure all this out
We’ll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just to feel better now
Maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud
We’ll be better off somehow, someday

‘Cuz sometimes we don’t really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over, again

‘Cuz sometimes we don’t really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over, again

I Was Here

You will notice me
I'll be leavin' my mark, like initials carved in an old oak tree
you wait and see
maybe I'll write like Twain wrote
maybe I'll paint like Van Gough,
cure the common cold
i don't know but I'm ready to start cuz i know in my heart

I wanna do something that matters
say something different
something that sets the whole world on it's ear
i wanna do somethin better, with the time i've been given
and i wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
and leave nothin less that something that says i was here

I will prove you wrong
if you think im all talk, your in for a shock
cuz this streams too strong, and before too long
maybe i'll compose symphonies
maybe i'll fight for world peace
cuz i know it's my destiny to leave more that a trace of myself in this
place

I wanna do something that matters
say something different
something that sets the whole world on it's ear
i wanna do somethin better, with the time i've been given
and i wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
and leave nothin less that something that says i was here

And i know that i, i will do more than just pass through this life
i'll leave nothin less that somethin that says i was here, i was here, i
was here, i was here

Wanna do somethin that matters
somethin that says i was here
wanna do somethin that matters
somethin that says i was here, i was here