I Can't Say Goodbye.....

It was a GREAT week with the kids.

But, today, they are back with Daren at Grandma's house.

I feel like the air has been sucked out of my lungs and my heart's pain is beyond expressing. They are my life...when you become a mom, those precious lives become a part of the fabric of your being.

They are in essence, an extension of who you are....they define a great deal of your life.

It's the most wonderful thing you could ever feel!

I miss you sweet babies....

My heart will not be at ease until you are back home with mommy!

I love you beyond words...

It was a fun and exciting week with you...

playing, running, laughing, tickles, grins and pure joy!!

God, I ask you put a hedge of protection around them,

Hold them in Your wings and cover them with Your grace.

Here are a few precious pictures of our week....

OH I MISS YOU SO MUCH ALREADY!!!!

In His Grip ~ Covered by His wings ~ Walking by His strength!!
All my love forever.....

A Strong Woman

A Strong Woman

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape

....but a woman of strength builds relationships to keep her soul in shape.

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything...but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear.

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her...but a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future...but a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be unexpected blessings, and capitalizes on them.

A strong woman wears a look of confidence on her face...but a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey...but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

~Author Unknown

I have come to realize that physically I am strong...but I want to be a woman of strength whose faith, hope, and joy grows deeper by her walk every day! Have a great week sweet friends!!!

In His Grip!!

Christmas Posted at Easter....

I can't believe that Easter is just around the corner and I am just now posting our pictures from Christmas and Kory and Lillian's birthday!!! Both, of course, in December!!!

Life has been so busy...crazy...difficult...fun...just all over the place!!

The kids and I are getting settled in our new home. Daren and I have "joint" custody of the kids right now which has resulted in 7 days with me then 7 days with him....and it has been the most challenging thing to "get used to"....and I'm not sure I ever will.

When you have a child, they become a part of the fiber of who you are...kind of like a limb (arm or leg)...and when they aren't here, I just lack in ability to function. They are my world and my life and I long to see them to have them here.

I can't go into detail of what is going on...but prayers are still being requested and valued in deep appreciation!! It's been a long 6 months...I am tired and worn down emotionally ~ I miss my kids!!! More than any words could express in accurate detail...

So, anyway, I hope that everyone is doing great!! Enjoy the "few" pictures that I posted!!! It was so hard to pick from the 250 I had and narrow it down...it was a great time with my brother and his family...my sister in law is AMAZING!! Their kids...like my own! Miss them and hope they come back soon!!!

Love to all!

Click here to view these pictures larger

P.S. If you have trouble viewing the album, you can click the "Click here to view these pictures larger" link and it should take you to them.... :0)

On A Lighter Note.....

Hello sweet friends and those of you who have "stumbled" upon the ramblings of our family life.

I realize that many of my recent post have been heavy hearted and deep. I realize that there are a lot of great things that also happen during our day and am going to try and share more of them on this blog and limit the trials.

This one is precious!

Last Wednesday night, the kids and I loaded up and headed to our Life Group. (Life Group is about 15 families that meet on Wednesday nights from our church here in Norman ~ Antioch Church) This group is awesome and the way that you go as a family is amazing. We start out with everyone, adults and kids, all gathered in the living room of Angie and Jade's home. We all listen to a story that is geared towards the understanding for the kids, though I've learned some great things through the simplicity of these basic fundamental stories of God and His faithful character.

After story time, we have praise and worship time with the kids as well. All the songs have hand/body movements that go along with them. Ashley was ALL into it!! Bouncing around and trying her best to keep up with the motions of the kids who were a bit older. Then, they ask the kids if any of them want to close our family time in prayer. (this is where my eyes fill with tears of joy) Kory raised his hand with such enthusiasm and said "I do! I do!". He walked into the middle of the circle, folded his hands bowed his head and prayed for his friends, family, and food. Ashely was right behind him doing the same thing. (Megan was a little clingy that night and stayed glued to me....but I know her bubbly personality will shine through as soon as she fills comfortable) Mind you, there were about 15 kids and a ton of parents. I was, and still am, so proud of his willingness to get up in front of all those people and pray a prayer that truly came from his heart!

Some times I wonder if when we pray at lunch and dinner if I've done a good job in teaching them what prayer is. Well, I really believe that they are starting to comprehend God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.


Recently we've started to turn the TV off and listen to music while we play. They love it when we jump around and dance to the music. It's those seemingly small things that we can take for granted that really embed in their souls.

I'm so proud to have them as my babies. I'm humbled that God believes in me that I can handle raising these three kids. He walks with me every day....and when I grow weary...I can jump in His arms and He gives me the inspiration and energy to carry through the rest of the day!!


I love you Lord! Thank you for the Holy Spirit that dwells within the heart of my children!


Monkey loves working her way into any container, box, or tote...

Little "M" enjoyed rolling Monkey around the yard.....
Little "M" tried it...but gave up....she is so funny!
Special snack time on the porch! Giggles and giggles!! I love it!!
Adorning her new "mask" and using her "super powers" that at times.... need to be controled! :0)
My little man protecting his race track from "Batman"
Ah! Finally playing together....LOUDLY ON THE KEYBOARD!! (special thank you to Casey and Danielle Bookout for their generous gift of music!!) Love you guys! :0)
My little man doing what he does best.... playing with his trains!!
And Mommy....still trying to smile...my babies are such joy in my life...even though they've given me wrinkes and gray hair!!! lol! :0)
Would you EVER believe they are twins??????? I still wonder at times..... night and day... oil and water.... but passionate about life!!
So.....our life might be crazy...parts of it might not make sense....but I love it...and I love them....and I'm thankful for all that they bring in my life!!!! To my Life Group who has embraced us and supported us....my heartfelt thanks and appreciation for all that you have done and continue to do. WE LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

In His Eternal Grip ~

The Whole Armor of God....

Recently, the Scripture that I am about to share from Ephesians 6, has been my anthem of protection from the world and its ways. I've been made so aware of the Spiritual warfare that is going on. It's almost palpable as Daren and I travel down this dark path. (please note: I'm not directing this at Daren nor am I making ANY implications that he has anything to do with what I am writing about)

This journey over the past 11 months since he lost his job due to the economy has opened the door for satan to come in and try to destroy that in which God created, reunited, and transformed. Looking back, I am disappointed in myself for my lack of putting on the whole armor of God during this battle which resulted in small areas for the devil to come in and start his path of destruction. Slowly pulling me away from the truth of God's word and eating away at my faith and hope.

Today, I declare, in the Name of Jesus, that I will daily place this armor on. That I will fight the good fight and will walk in the faith and grace that God has so mercifully given me to obtain. I know I must have grieved His heart as He watched me allow the dark thoughts to creep into my mind and heart and influence my direction and attitude.

Paul, in Ephesians 6:10-20, writes this:

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.
12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,
20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

So I ask for your prayers that I may walk in the armor of God and that a hedge of protection be placed around the hearts and minds of Daren and our children. That any and all outside evil be rebuked so that God's perfect will shall be carried out and seen to its fullness and goodness.

In His Grip~

Sit With You Awhile ~

Ah! When do the tough days end? Lord, I long to feel Your arms around me ~ protecting me, giving me peace, keeping me warm in a world that has grown so cold. God, give my little one's a hug from me right now...touch their hearts and minds with a revelation knowledge that I love them so much!!

Forever, In The Grip of Your Grace~

"I Will Rise" ~ Chris Tomlin

"I Will Rise"

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[x2]

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

My Awesome Creative Mom!

Friday ~ Friday my mom came down from OKC to spend the day with me and to bring the new bedding, curtains, and decorations she made for the girls room. It is truly beautiful!!


There room had been pink and green since they were born...but their little wild personalities just didn't fit the girly girl decor that had been theirs for the last 2 1/2 years....(can't believe it's been that long....)


So, I thought I would share a few of the pictures from Nana's creations!!! I hope you enjoy!!

Mom, thank you so much for all the hard work and effort you put into doing this. I could never have done it without you!! I truly truly appreciate this amazing gift!! I can't wait for my monkey's to get home and see their new jungle!!! I love you!!!

That's What Faith Can Do

Music. Music is more than instruments and voices filling up an empty room.

Music is lyrics...words from the heart and soul...songs of lament or songs of praise.

Music can bring healing to a hurting aching heart.

Music can give you words to praise how faithful God is when you reach the peak of a mountain that you've traveled on for such a long time.

Music can give you stamina to keep placing one foot in front of the other when you want to crumble and give up.

But, with that said, It's music that is based on the inerrant infallible Word of God that will keep you "keeping on".Based on Truth. I love music. I love all kinds of music...but I find that the music which I stay grounded in, my "Christian" music, is what fills my heart, mind, and spirit with that which is true about this life. The music that God gives so many amazing artist who soulfully and spiritually seek God out for their music to touch lives....those are the ones I love. Matthew West, Matt Redman, Kutless, Rush of Fools, Third Day....the list goes on...

This morning, I realized just how thankful I am for this life. God revealed something very personal and passionate to me this week about the Body of Christ and their love. How being involved in and fellowship with other believers is so vitally important in our walk with Him. Accountability, support, unconditional love, trust, faithfulness, integrity, loyalty in good times and in bad. They aren't perfect Christians...none of them claim to be. They each have their own story of their journey in Christ. But I love each and every one of them. I've never felt such an embrace from the Body of Christ as I did this week. And most important...they have a true unending passion for serving God in this community and around the world. Their love is endless and they are priceless!! True treasures and blessings!

I've had an exceptionally difficult two weeks just in my own heart...and there is a song that came on Thursday morning that I have now played over and over and over again. It reminds you of what faith in God can do. How when you place your faith in Him, the possibilities are endless.

He is the one true God and I dare not walk another step in this life that doesn't focus on Him and His faith. I am humbled that He stands by me...that He cares so much to bring people and music into my life that truly change my direction...carry me...and are so humble in all things.

To my Life Group at Antioch Church here in Norman...and to Chris and Julie Bennett (our pastor & his wife)...I want to thank you. I can't find the exact words to pen the emotion and love that you have helped me find again in Him!!! Thank you!!

So, with that being said...here is a song by Kutless ~ That's What Faith Can Do...


Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

In His Grip!

Save A Place For Me ~ Matthew West

Save A Place For Me

Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes
'Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again
You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you

Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon

I have asked the question why
But I guess the answer's for another time
So instead I'll pray with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here
And I wanna live my life just like you did
Make the most of my time just like you did
And I wanna make my home up in the sky
Just like you did
Oh, but until I get there
Until I get there

Fingerprints

"Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch"